Couples Therapy Work
Couples attend couples therapy when they find themselves unable to address the conflicts in their relationship in a constructive and forward-moving manner.
For example, one or both of you may be engaging in poor communication methods, such as pursuing/withdrawing, defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling or contempt. There may also be issues around dependency, co-dependency, difficulty with expressing your needs or having your needs met by your partner, or your ability to express your own authentic self within the relationship.
I offer Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, based on my extensive specialist training. This model includes awareness of how your early attachment histories are playing out in your relationship, but the focus is on the relationship rather than on your individual issues per se. Thus attending couples sessions is not a substitute for also doing your own individual therapeutic work.
What happens in couples therapy?
If both of you feel ready to make the attempt to resolve the difficulties and conflicts in your relationship, we can meet for an assessment session. This work requires a commitment from all three of us to meet either weekly or fortnightly for 6-12 months, depending on the condition of your relationship. Sometimes the outcome is that the couple finds new ways to build and cement their relationship, and it becomes clear whether or not the relationship has the potential for a longterm future. If the outcome is that you decide to part, we can create rules for engagement so that further conflict can be avoided.
At the beginning of our work together, I will meet with both of you jointly, and then with each of you individually in order to take an attachment history.
During the sessions you will learn new ways to look after your relationship, and you will perceive each other differently. You will understand the impact of your emotional history and your communication methods upon your partner, and learn to modify them to bring you much better results. You will also have homework assignments to practice between sessions.
Fees: Introductory assessment package, of one joint (75 minutes) and two individual sessions (60 minutes per person) is £250. All further joint sessions are £100.
“We went to Julie for some couple’s therapy during a very stressful period. My husband had never had any therapy before and initially very reluctant to go. He felt it was so far out of his comfort zone but found the sessions cathartic, as did I. We both felt very comfortable with Julie and she helped us to explore difficult issues honestly.
Julie enabled us to understand each other much better. We learnt to really listen to each other. Julie had a phrase “widen the lens” and by doing this we were really able to look at things from the other’s perspective.
We both feel stronger and happier in our relationship. The sessions with Julie have been life-changing and we cannot thank her enough for the her help.
“When my wife suggested couples counselling, I was a bit anxious about it.But I needn’t have worried because Julie was really kind, very fair to both of us and quickly helped us work out how we could improve our relationship.
Julie is a very intelligent, empathetic and skilled counsellor and I cannot recommend her highly enough. I wish we had gone to see her sooner.
“Approaching couples counselling felt daunting, however, Julie has provided us with a safe and trusted haven. Her kindness, astuteness and fairness have proved invaluable, offering an even and respectful environment in which to improve our communication skills. We cannot recommend Julie highly enough.”